i'm hesitant to share this story because I want to respect this person's privacy, If I provide sufficient detail, you'll understand why. Anyway, the subject of this story has been coming to dinner for a number of months now. After a series of talks, he confided his real name and through Google I've confirmed who he is (by photographs) and that he was once, among other things, national press secretary for a member of the Cabinet (in the White House).
We've met to help me continue to develop a vision/mission state that I can implement into fund proposals and frankly, seeing him listen to me voicing thoughts off the top of my head and turn them into phrases such as:
creating an."environment in which people feel comfortable/safe to explore options without ridicule and within the parameter of mutual respect among its members (among a wide range of world/cultural viewpoints)"
"The organization will not act as an enabling body. Participants must demonstrate a strong willingness to effect positive change. The organization's output is a function of the participants' input. An underlying vision of the organization is to help participants realize their value and self-worth through a model of rewards and "exponential returns" to match and surpass participants efforts. Throughout the "process" it is the hope and goal of the organization to teach about the symbiotic benefits of host and organism (community?). Ultimately, through this organic process, new levels and achievements will be reached and realized with while teaching the inextricable-intertwined nature and virtues of "getting more" from "giving more."
"Organization strives to make funding and investment decisions that have immediate impacts while also paving the road to self-sustained living (participants not dependent upon a "hand-out" or organization's monetary distributions."
has got me feeling pretty excited. In particular, I'm hoping to see these goals realized in how we work together. As he continues to help me find my voice, perhaps this will galvanize him to re-find himself.
He currently fixes bicycles and calls himself 'rider'. But I've told him that I'm going to start calling him Strider, a reference from Tolkien: "All who wander are not lost."
Thursday, May 23, 2019
Friday, January 4, 2019
Kale Salad
Given that B/K (i've got to find a less self aggrandizing name) is largely self-funded, it's a challenge to prepare inexpensive, healthy things that appeal to the folks who show up. Over time, I've come up with a simple, tasty salad that everyone loves.
KALE SALAD
Two (2) bunches of kale (fortunately, I have a source where I can get 2 bunches for a dollar)
Four (4) tomatoes (any type will do)
Four (4) Persian cucumbers (the large ones are often cheaper, but the texture is not the same)
Two (2) apples (anything except Red Delicious - the crunchier, the better)
One (1) medium size red onion
Vinaigrette:
I never measure precisely, but the general rule is one (1) part acid to three (3) oil. For folks who are more comfortable measuring:
1/4 cup vinegar (I typically use red wine vinegar, but I sometimes splurge and use organic apple cider vinegar for health benefits)
3/4 cup olive oil
The spices I add vary, but typically include:
Basil (1/2 tsp)
Oregano (1/2 tsp)
Powered Garlic (A couple of shakes)
Salt (1/2 tsp)
If ham is being served, I typically add a tablespoon of mustard - I find it a better complement.
Combine ingredients in a sealed container and shake until blended.
Optional: Pour half around the edge of the salad bowl so that it coats the inside of the bowl (This is a Thomas Keller technique I learned that helps guarantee an even distribution of vinaigrette over the salad.)
--------------------------------
Wash and rinse produce as needed.
I personally hand tear/shred the kale into roughly 1-1.5"pieces. Using a knife to cut and dice would be quicker, but this way I can identify the really tough midribs and tear around them.
Place the kale in the salad bowl.
Prepare remaining produce for dicing (Peel red onion, core the apples if you have a corer, I have no proof you should, but I like to trim the ends off the cucumbers, etc.)
Dice the remaining produce (1/2-3/4" dice, cucumbers can just be sliced) and add to the bowl.
Add remaining vinaigrette to bowl and toss. The kale holds up well to the vinaigrette, so timing is not critical. Leftover salad refrigerates reasonably well.
KALE SALAD
Two (2) bunches of kale (fortunately, I have a source where I can get 2 bunches for a dollar)
Four (4) tomatoes (any type will do)
Four (4) Persian cucumbers (the large ones are often cheaper, but the texture is not the same)
Two (2) apples (anything except Red Delicious - the crunchier, the better)
One (1) medium size red onion
Vinaigrette:
I never measure precisely, but the general rule is one (1) part acid to three (3) oil. For folks who are more comfortable measuring:
1/4 cup vinegar (I typically use red wine vinegar, but I sometimes splurge and use organic apple cider vinegar for health benefits)
3/4 cup olive oil
The spices I add vary, but typically include:
Basil (1/2 tsp)
Oregano (1/2 tsp)
Powered Garlic (A couple of shakes)
Salt (1/2 tsp)
If ham is being served, I typically add a tablespoon of mustard - I find it a better complement.
Combine ingredients in a sealed container and shake until blended.
Optional: Pour half around the edge of the salad bowl so that it coats the inside of the bowl (This is a Thomas Keller technique I learned that helps guarantee an even distribution of vinaigrette over the salad.)
--------------------------------
Wash and rinse produce as needed.
I personally hand tear/shred the kale into roughly 1-1.5"pieces. Using a knife to cut and dice would be quicker, but this way I can identify the really tough midribs and tear around them.
Place the kale in the salad bowl.
Prepare remaining produce for dicing (Peel red onion, core the apples if you have a corer, I have no proof you should, but I like to trim the ends off the cucumbers, etc.)
Dice the remaining produce (1/2-3/4" dice, cucumbers can just be sliced) and add to the bowl.
Add remaining vinaigrette to bowl and toss. The kale holds up well to the vinaigrette, so timing is not critical. Leftover salad refrigerates reasonably well.
Sunday, December 17, 2017
Leo
Leo is a pseudonym for one of the regulars who comes for dinner. I had the chance to engage him in conversation this week. It's taken years to get to this point; Leo's coping mechanisms include affecting various accents and a jabber/patter when he greets and interacts with people. Eventually I was told by another homeless person that the way to engage Leo in conversation was to ask about his mother. It seems that Leo's mother has been unable to fend for herself resulting in the two of them being homeless since Leo was in his teens. Leo will not say anything bad about his mother, but I've gotten the impression that she's an addict of some sort. Even though Leo was forced to abandon his mother to get away from what Leo has described as "controlling" behavior, her welfare is paramount in his thoughts while he usually has no idea of where she is exactly. He believes that it's his responsibility to find a way to get housing for himself and his mother. He has foregone the normal route of looking for menial work and he claims to be pursuing his creative bent in art and dance hoping to achieve success there. For a while now, his mother has been 'living in another city and being taken care of'' which I interpret to be committed to institutionalized care if not incarceration. Now that he doesn't have to be able to afford a place that can house both him and his mother, I've been suggesting that he can consider lowering the bar and maybe also pursuing getting a regular job.
I have some evidence of what Leo might be like under other circumstances;he's seen me in the library and headed off to the grocery store to purchase dried beans and rice to donate towards dinners on Tuesday nights. He can be quite thoughtful in his responses. In our last conversation I mentioned that it was difficult to gauge whether we were making a difference doing what we were doing. He pointed out a number of thing he would have never experienced if he hadn't come to dinner. He understands that we want to provide healthy options for meals and his take was that even if less people take advantage of that, it was a good thing to be providing that option. It caught me off guard when he suggested that the devil had sent someone to try and kill me because I was doing a good thing and I hadn't let that keep me from continuing to do this and that meant something too.
I have some evidence of what Leo might be like under other circumstances;he's seen me in the library and headed off to the grocery store to purchase dried beans and rice to donate towards dinners on Tuesday nights. He can be quite thoughtful in his responses. In our last conversation I mentioned that it was difficult to gauge whether we were making a difference doing what we were doing. He pointed out a number of thing he would have never experienced if he hadn't come to dinner. He understands that we want to provide healthy options for meals and his take was that even if less people take advantage of that, it was a good thing to be providing that option. It caught me off guard when he suggested that the devil had sent someone to try and kill me because I was doing a good thing and I hadn't let that keep me from continuing to do this and that meant something too.
Thursday, November 23, 2017
Holidays
Happy Thanksgiving. Today is a holiday and it's one of the annual holidays where we try to do a special meal to commemorate the holiday being celebrated that week. For Thanksgiving I usually roast a turkey as part of a traditional meal, but this week, I decided to serve ham instead, only to discover that a significant percentage who showed up for dinner expecting turkey do not eat pork and I ended up having leftover ham. Live and learn.
I don't care to cook holiday meals twice the same week, so since I started doing this I've either accepted invitations to celebrate with various friends & family, or on a few occasions I've elected to observe the holiday quietly on my own.
I'm currently relaxing with a cup of coffee at a local fast food place - and it's seemingly just another day gauging by the number of customers here stuffing themselves with burgers and fries. Maybe I'll ponder that on another day, but today, for many homeless, it's not just another day, and that distinction is even more obvious on a day where the temperature is currently a freakish 91 degrees. A lot of the people who come for dinner spend the day at the library; aside from the ability to recharge their phones/laptops, etc. the library also provides a respite when it's especially hot or cold outside. But the library is closed today and will also be closed tomorrow. In cases where the library is a regular haven, holidays end up being more like a penalty day.
It will get even more complicated over the course of the next five weeks or so. Beyond the normal bump to the tax base due to the holiday season, Pasadena also benefits from the tourism that's tied to the Rose Bowl. In an effort the maximize that benefit, the city employs a few protocols to minimize the visibility and overall presence of the homeless in Pasadena. For example, park sprinklers that routinely go off in the early morning hours to maximize absorption will go off for 15 minutes at 8pm during the holiday season; the wet grass becomes a deterrent to those who might otherwise try to sleep in the park at night. I can't blame the city for taking steps to protect their tourist season, but the result is that we now routinely go on hiatus the last two weeks of the year. In past years, we've been at the park the weeks of Christmas and New Year only to have fewer than five people show up for dinner, and I couldn't in good conscience ask volunteers to sacrifice their time during the holiday season to try and prepare a holiday meal. This year, we'll probably do an informal poll among the people who come for dinner and decide based on the response.
I don't care to cook holiday meals twice the same week, so since I started doing this I've either accepted invitations to celebrate with various friends & family, or on a few occasions I've elected to observe the holiday quietly on my own.
I'm currently relaxing with a cup of coffee at a local fast food place - and it's seemingly just another day gauging by the number of customers here stuffing themselves with burgers and fries. Maybe I'll ponder that on another day, but today, for many homeless, it's not just another day, and that distinction is even more obvious on a day where the temperature is currently a freakish 91 degrees. A lot of the people who come for dinner spend the day at the library; aside from the ability to recharge their phones/laptops, etc. the library also provides a respite when it's especially hot or cold outside. But the library is closed today and will also be closed tomorrow. In cases where the library is a regular haven, holidays end up being more like a penalty day.
It will get even more complicated over the course of the next five weeks or so. Beyond the normal bump to the tax base due to the holiday season, Pasadena also benefits from the tourism that's tied to the Rose Bowl. In an effort the maximize that benefit, the city employs a few protocols to minimize the visibility and overall presence of the homeless in Pasadena. For example, park sprinklers that routinely go off in the early morning hours to maximize absorption will go off for 15 minutes at 8pm during the holiday season; the wet grass becomes a deterrent to those who might otherwise try to sleep in the park at night. I can't blame the city for taking steps to protect their tourist season, but the result is that we now routinely go on hiatus the last two weeks of the year. In past years, we've been at the park the weeks of Christmas and New Year only to have fewer than five people show up for dinner, and I couldn't in good conscience ask volunteers to sacrifice their time during the holiday season to try and prepare a holiday meal. This year, we'll probably do an informal poll among the people who come for dinner and decide based on the response.
Friday, August 25, 2017
Chris
Chris was a former regular a number of years ago. He stopped participating because he didn't like coming to the park. We also disagreed on the way certain things were being done. Even so, that didn't stop him from encouraging people he knew to begin to volunteer helping out with me at the park. Over time during conversations we had at the library, we'd become better friends.
Earlier this year, a mutual acquaintance had made the observation that Chris appeared to have given and had let himself go. He'd put on some serious weight, but claimed to be doing OK. I took him at his word.
I was stunned to hear that Chris passed away earlier this week. Apparently he'd required surgery for a hernia, but complications set in and the extended time under anesthesia sent Chris into a coma for almost two weeks. During that time he suffered two heart attacks and the doctors were able to revive him. However, he suffered a third heart attack this past Monday which proved fatal.
Chris wasn't the first and I expect that he won't be the last person I've encountered on the street to pass on, but this one feels different for reasons I have yet to identify.
Earlier this year, a mutual acquaintance had made the observation that Chris appeared to have given and had let himself go. He'd put on some serious weight, but claimed to be doing OK. I took him at his word.
I was stunned to hear that Chris passed away earlier this week. Apparently he'd required surgery for a hernia, but complications set in and the extended time under anesthesia sent Chris into a coma for almost two weeks. During that time he suffered two heart attacks and the doctors were able to revive him. However, he suffered a third heart attack this past Monday which proved fatal.
Chris wasn't the first and I expect that he won't be the last person I've encountered on the street to pass on, but this one feels different for reasons I have yet to identify.
Ritchie
We serve dinner weekly in a public park in Pasadena. There are people on the street who spend most of their time there. While they tend to come and go, I do know a few who've slept in the park for years. The point is that it didn't seem like much of a big deal when someone new recently began sleeping near the tables where we serve dinner. The first time I met her (I'll call her "Ritchie") she started screaming at me about my serving dinner, a series of F-bombs liberally strewn throughout the tirade, before she abruptly walked out of the park leaving her stuff there on the grass. While we seldom experience behavior like that, I really didn't give it much thought; I've learned not to use a single incident to form expectations of peoples' behavior, though to be fair, I didn't have much expectation of making any sort of real connection.
The following week, I noticed that a gentleman stood up when a woman approached the table where he was sitting. Ritchie happened to be within earshot when I commented on his chivalrous behavior and he said he'd been taught to stand in the presence of a lady. Ritchie asked what was the difference between a woman and a lady. I don't recall exactly how I answered, but it was something to effect of it being a combination of behavior and self respect.
This week, when I pulled up to park, Ritchie approached my car and asked if she could help carry stuff from my car to the picnic tables. After dinner was over and everyone else had left, she asked if I needed help carrying things back to the car. I told her it wasn't necessary and I suggested that she sit down and enjoy the cool breeze and relax for a bit.
We talked for about fifteen minutes. She's overheard me mention the possibility of getting referrals from the mother of two of my music students and asked me about that, and we talked about music for a bit. Apparently she likes to take songs and remix them with a techno rhythm track. She likes rock, wasn't so crazy about country music, but was beginning to appreciate it. I also found out that she was from West Virginia but her grandmother was from Tennessee.
Sometimes, you just never know.
The following week, I noticed that a gentleman stood up when a woman approached the table where he was sitting. Ritchie happened to be within earshot when I commented on his chivalrous behavior and he said he'd been taught to stand in the presence of a lady. Ritchie asked what was the difference between a woman and a lady. I don't recall exactly how I answered, but it was something to effect of it being a combination of behavior and self respect.
This week, when I pulled up to park, Ritchie approached my car and asked if she could help carry stuff from my car to the picnic tables. After dinner was over and everyone else had left, she asked if I needed help carrying things back to the car. I told her it wasn't necessary and I suggested that she sit down and enjoy the cool breeze and relax for a bit.
We talked for about fifteen minutes. She's overheard me mention the possibility of getting referrals from the mother of two of my music students and asked me about that, and we talked about music for a bit. Apparently she likes to take songs and remix them with a techno rhythm track. She likes rock, wasn't so crazy about country music, but was beginning to appreciate it. I also found out that she was from West Virginia but her grandmother was from Tennessee.
Sometimes, you just never know.
Sunday, July 23, 2017
The New Fact
Someone I'll refer to as "A" has been coming off and on to dinner for the better part of a year now. Her four children are currently wards of the state, and she's working towards getting them back. Just this past week she elected to share more of her personal story. She was widowed a few years ago, saddling her with a lot of debt. That along with other things led to a mental breakdown, culminating in "A" attempting to take her own life by overdosing on drugs. This prompted the state to step in and place her four children in foster care.
"A" is now working part time and going to school part time with the goal of finishing her bachelor's and eventually teaching special education. She's also in therapy and she hopes to get her eldest into therapy as well; her eldest still believes that the overdose was the result of an accident.
"A" clearly has a ways to go, but I believe that she's going to be all right eventually. Therapy has been a positive influence in "A"; she describing as reprogramming her crazy thinking. I shared my take on insanity based on Chesteron's suggestion that none of those we consider insane have lost their reason - it's that reason is the only thing they have left. Their universe of facts are so small, they can't help but reach the same conclusion over and over. We can reach new conclusions only we allow more truth to enter our universe of facts. "A" said that made sense, so I asked her what new fact she'd incorporated in her universe. She thought about it for a little bit, and said that she wasn't a bad mother. I suggested that that had been a huge source of shame, and that shame makes us want to withdraw while shame is healed within a healthy community but it's not easy to find among the homeless. She agreed and said that she had made a few friends at the shelter where she was staying. We talked about a few more things and then we called it an evening.
I don't know how much I actually helped, but I was encouraged to see the progress she was making.
"A" is now working part time and going to school part time with the goal of finishing her bachelor's and eventually teaching special education. She's also in therapy and she hopes to get her eldest into therapy as well; her eldest still believes that the overdose was the result of an accident.
"A" clearly has a ways to go, but I believe that she's going to be all right eventually. Therapy has been a positive influence in "A"; she describing as reprogramming her crazy thinking. I shared my take on insanity based on Chesteron's suggestion that none of those we consider insane have lost their reason - it's that reason is the only thing they have left. Their universe of facts are so small, they can't help but reach the same conclusion over and over. We can reach new conclusions only we allow more truth to enter our universe of facts. "A" said that made sense, so I asked her what new fact she'd incorporated in her universe. She thought about it for a little bit, and said that she wasn't a bad mother. I suggested that that had been a huge source of shame, and that shame makes us want to withdraw while shame is healed within a healthy community but it's not easy to find among the homeless. She agreed and said that she had made a few friends at the shelter where she was staying. We talked about a few more things and then we called it an evening.
I don't know how much I actually helped, but I was encouraged to see the progress she was making.
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