The mission: Conquering Fear

A process has been started that will culminate in a 501(c)3 entity known as Barry's Kitchen. We've been granted 501(c)3 status from the IRS, but I understand that we can not begin to solicit tax deductible donations, until the powers that be grant our corporate seal.

The process has included developing a vision statement. While it's been strongly felt that including certain details of my story are more likely to prompt people to contribute, I was uncomfortable about making it about me. And appropriately so, because it's not about me. It's about conquering fear.

First, it's not just providing a meal, it's about creating a temporary oasis where anyone can come and gather in community to share a meal. It's about easing a little bit of the fear and anxiety of those who don't even have a place to lay their head at night - that for at least a few moments of that day, they know where their next meal is coming from, they can gather knowing that for at least for the duration of the meal, they're safe; they won't be hassled by other homeless or by the police while we're there serving. And if I can say so, it's about knowing that someone cares enough about them to continue to try and help them despite the possible potential cost to themselves.

That provides a nice segue about my conquering fear in terms of continuing to help the homeless after my being attacked. More detail on that can be found at: http://samstabbed.blogspot.com/2013/03/this-blogged-is-tied-to-my-other.html  But I'm now only beginning to realize the depth of the fears that haunt me. Very recently, a good friend made an observation about me. The phrasing was harsh, but the harshness was required for me to grasp the depth of the truth in the observation. And the truth is that I loathe myself. Let me clarify this. I loathe myself in a way that prompts to perform self-sabotaging behavior on a routine basis. I loathe myself so that I don't pursue anything unless I'm pretty sure that I can conquer any potential problems. I loathe myself because I believe that I am somehow jinxed. And it's clear to me that I can not continue to think this way without having a serious impact on the potential success of Barry's Kitchen as a vehicle to accomplish good things. I've already seen an example of how my self-loathing has prompted me to think small. A few months ago, I created a request for funds on gofundme.com, and I requested funds both to reimburse me for some of the expense that will be incurred providing food for the homeless in 2016.  I put a limit at $1000, and I posted the request on Facebook. A friend suggested that I rewrite the request because I left out a lot of pertinent details. I responded that my target audience was people that already knew me, and the friend then asked me: "Are you afraid that some eccentric millionaire might see your request and donate $10000?" and truthfully, I had to respond yes to that.

The point to all of this is that while yes, I had to conquer a certain amount of fear in choosing to continue to work with the homeless, but there's a lot more fear left to conquer - including the fear that Barry's Kitchen might grow into something beyond I now recognize to be very modest dreams. And now it's incumbent on me to do some serious soul searching and deal with this. And it occurs to me that the message about conquering fears goes beyond helping the homeless. There are a lot of people out there with awesome potential who will never realize it because they're trapped in the same kind of thinking.

It occurs to me that I've finally discovered the real purpose of this blog, not to mention the working vision for Barry's Kitchen - it's about helping people find the strength to persevere when it come to pursuing the desires of their hearts after they've experienced a serious setback. It's both inspiring and terrifying to think that there are a lot of people out there waiting for me to conquer this myself.